Well, here goes! My first post. In a few moments I’ll no longer be a blog virgin and would have committed myself to starting and maintaining this message in a bottle.
What am I doing here? Processing, I guess. So, some context – a little more stuff about me:
I’m 43 and came to describe myself as femme early last year. My emerging identity (together with some other bumps along the way) resulted in my ending a long term relationship with a (very special) man. I’m now deeply in love with my girlfriend, P, and have been for sometime.
I describe myself as femme because that is what I am, and, importantly, what I’ve always been. “Lesbian” is a term that I don’t choose because, for me, it has a meaning that does not describe me for the first 41 years of my life – where as “femme” (and “queer”) do precisely that.
On good days, I would compare my journey to a happy, no, joyous, awakening and on bad days to a very difficult birth (not that I have any idea what that feels like!).
At the moment I’m endeavouring to move forward and build a life that is intentional and owned. I’m also trying to feel guilt-free about that, sometimes successfully, sometimes not.
My endeavours have been and are hugely supported by P,
This blog will be framed around the fact that I want to remain anonymous, because for me this means, less attention to censorship. I hope it works out that way!
Have to sign out for now – P has just emerged from a soak in the bath and well…………