Sunday, August 23, 2009

Blimey! Time flies!

What have I been up to, I hear you ask?

Last week I had a lovely time in Yorkshire with Boo and Gertie. Highlights included a fantastic run along Scarborough beach, more Ye Olde sweet shops than you could shake a stick at and the most lovely, soft fresh air. Dreamy. Gertie ate a ton of sheep shit and me & Boo settled for pies.

I am addicted to Big Brother. And no, I’m not ashamed to say it. It makes perfect, mind numbing, viewing. David or Lisa to win I say. Come on you gays!

My body is becoming quite a (nicely tanned) temple now that I’ve been running for sometime. And yes, I will blow my own trumpet about it. My speed isn’t brilliant but I’m very pleased with the distances I’m able to cover quite easily (over 6km yesterday) and it just feels SO good. Oh and it keeps me sane. Speaking of which…

As usual my mental health has been good and bad by turns. That’s all I want to say about that. Apart from, as I’ve commented elsewhere, thanks for looking after me so well NHS – I probably wouldn’t be here now without you.

I’m expecting to receive an early discharge from my bankruptcy, which will mean a fresh financial start. God, that’s been dragging on forever.

This weekend I’m having some quiet time. Boo & Gertie are away with Denver (best friend & ex) meeting up with friends up North. What can I say about Gertie? That dawg is cute & everything & I even love her - but not enough, because as I already knew really, I am not mum material. It was kind of half expected I suppose and Boo has been great about it. Those two! Honestly! They’re so alike – neither can get up in the morning, both are prone to mischief making and both like their bellies rubbed – for hours & hours – at the same time. Yes. Really.

That’s about it I think. What about you?

With love


Monday, July 06, 2009

THAT list

One of the first blogs to catch my attention and inspire me to start my own blog was Sugarbutch Chronicles. Sinclair’s writing on gender and sexuality helped me and challenged me to think about my own identity and how I describe myself.

Thank you Sinclair.

I’m always delighted when Sugarbutch pops up in my reader. The post could be anything from thoughts on gender theory to a sex toy review to some delicious smut. So imagine the smile on my face when I saw “Top Hot Butches 2009”. I went straight over to have a look and left an appreciative comment.

And then, while I was away enjoying my birthday, the shit hit the fan across the internets. The list was this and the list was that. I read the (mostly) thought provoking comments and responses and again, was challenged and learnt a thing or two. That’s why I bother with this place really.

So thanks again Sinclair (and the panel, of course).

I don’t agree with EVERYTHING that any blogger has to say about sex / gender / sexuality or anything else for that matter, ALL of the time. Also, I mostly don’t have the confidence to write about my own stuff on those fronts, or even sometimes comment and it’s largely for fear of being shat on for saying something “wrong”. My own stuff, I know, but I think it’s likely that many people feel like I do and self censor out of fear of backlash and that sucks.

I hope that the furore over THAT list doesn’t stifle the constructive discussions “we” need to have. “We” is a very loose term indeed.

That is all.


Saturday, June 27, 2009

Happy Birthday to me!

It's my birthday on Monday and I have a fabulous 3 days in store. Especially since my Boo gave me this early pressie last night. WOW! I've wanted one for AGES! It's loud, but then, so am I!


Saturday, June 20, 2009


As we all know, what goes up must come down and vice versa. And, after a bit of a tough time last week, here I am as evidence of what goes down comes back UP. You cannot keep a good femme down.

It’s so lovely to live in a flat with a view.

I went to see my VERY lovely friend femmeismygender last Wednesday. We had such a fabulous afternoon sitting on deck chairs in the sun eating chips and sharing. Later in the day we went back to her place and caught up with Holden. What a couple! I’m very lucky to have such dear friends.

My running is coming along very nicely. This morning, despite having period brain, boobs like watermelons and legs full of lead, I was EXTREMELY pleased with my run. I’m on Week 6 of a 9 week couch to 5K program and totally on target.

After some reluctance I’ve accepted my doctor’s advice and am taking double my regular dose of Prozac. It helps!

Gertie is nearly 12 weeks old now, going out in the world and ridiculously cute:

Boo has being doing really well in the Belly department (i.e., trying to lose it) and lost 5lbs last week. She totally got her reward! Ahem.

So, I’m carrying on, on my little roller coaster ride, trying not to get myself in too much of a pickle and getting somewhere. Another cliché for you – whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Amen to that.

With love


Saturday, June 06, 2009


Today started out well enough. I went out for my run and did really well. I came back feeling great, on top of the world. Things went swiftly downhill when I opened my post box and found a letter telling me that my income benefit has been stopped. Basically, apart from the fact that they have based their decision on completely incorrect information, I’ve been penalised because my illness is invisible and I present as clean, sane and articulate. I spent sometime getting a 2 page appeal letter together.

It was a real body blow and completely knocked the wind right out of my sails. When I sit still and think about it, I get a rush of distress and a whir of all of the stuff that’s happened in my life over the last few years, and it’s too much. It’s just as well that Boo is spending the evening with a friend because I don’t think I could take any kind words, I just need to hibernate, even though the thought of being by myself is quite scary.


Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Picking up poo and other news

It’s been a busy few days here in VERY SUNNY East London.

First of all, Gertie has arrived.

And yes, she’s that cute that I can deal with her poo.

I've finally completed the reward chart so Project Boo's Belly commences in earnest on Monday 8th June.

I’ve also written THE RULES. I won’t go in to too much detail now, suffice to say that rewards include a full body treatment and punishments include (wooden) paddle slaps to the bottom. Oh Boo! You’d better watch yourself.

I had a great time last Thursday with my lovely friend femmeismygender. First off we went for a run. She’s ever so fit you know! I was very pleased to learn that my total distance is 6K – I’m interval training so I’m running half and power walking half. I’m very happy with that indeedy! I feel great physically and mentally. Good stuff. And thanks to my lovely friend I’m running in a 5K on 12th September. Can’t wait!

After our run, and feeling very pleased with ourselves, we walked over to my local bird sanctuary and had lunch in the sun. Of course, we had lots to natter about. But that’s private and between us femmes.

All in all, not a bad life, eh?

With love


Friday, May 29, 2009

Calm before a storm?

We collect Gertie, our 8 week old Border Terrier, tomorrow. Goodness gracious! My horoscope says:

Today might feel like the calm before a storm, yet your anticipation of what's ahead may be more ominous than any event on the horizon...Make use of the stillness now by getting ready for the winds of change that will surely blow in the weeks ahead


Well yes, as I've never had a dog before and because I just have to worry about everything, I have been feeling rather anxious about her arrival. Will we bond? Will I love her? Will I be able to pick up her poo? etc etc etc. Boo assures me that it will be fine and if not that she will be full time mum to the little one.

And breathe.

As they, or rather, as you lot on the internets say, in other news...

I've caught the running bug from my dear friend femmeismygender. In fact, I'm sitting here in my gear right now waiting for her to arrive for our first run together. I'm SO in to it! I'll share some stats shortly but I think I'm doing quite well and I'm planning to do a 5K this summer.

The recent focus on Boo's Belly has moved to Boo's Head due to the massive and stressful changes happening for her at work. I'll let her say more about that. I bought a reward chart for the Belly Project with stick on stars and everything and will be adapting it once I work out how. It seems quite complicated but maybe I'm being dense. Probably!

Whatever you're doing this weekend, have a fabulous one!

With love (and a little puppy love)