Last Sunday, my girlfriend managed, finally, to persuade me that a drive to the coast was in order. I’m so glad she did. The weather here has been quite grey and wet for the last few weeks but last Sunday was gloriously sunny and therefore had to be taken advantage of. It was so good to feel the winter sun on my face. Thanks, girlfriend.
Then of course, the election in the States. I was SO happy that Obama was elected and then crestfallen that MILLIONS of people were successful in voting to deny (marriage) equality. I read and read and read accounts of that loss and the sadness that effects us all. More recently, I’ve been reading about the many protests at this outrage happening across the States and I’m wishing I could be there and add my voice. But I’m determined to do what I can here in the UK, where we have Civil Partnerships, not the right to marry. I was really happy to see THIS and hope that the blog will be hugely successful in gathering our stories.
Mid week I went along to see my GP who very kindly listened to my woes and gave me the prescription that I needed. Lovely. So, with a little help from my friend Prozac I’ll be getting through the next few months and coming out the other side. Thanks very muchly GP.
Last night I had the absolute pleasure of performing an ever so slightly improved version of my piece The Best Laid Plans at the gorgeous Drill Hall Theatre! Wow! The performance was the end result of Talking Dirty, the lesbian erotic writing workshop that I’ve been enjoying for the last 6 weeks. All of my co-performers were completely fabulous and I didn’t do too badly myself. It was a great night and one I won’t forget.
Apart from that, this week has involved work, numerous phone calls from various credit card companies (whatever - read my letters before you phone me Call Centre people), seeing some family & friends, and my ex, a visit to Asda (reduced circumstances don’t you know) and several wonderful evenings with my too delicious girlfriend.
My feeling tonight as I write this is: Everything's going to be alright.
I knew I was in trouble on Wednesday night. I’d teased Vic to the extreme and knew I’d pay for it. We’d shared an evening meal out with a few friends, both of us knowing that there’d be no sex that night and that we’d have to wait until the weekend when our busy diaries would allow us 3 hot nights together.
I’d dressed for Vic that Wednesday night. I wore a low cut top that showed just enough cleavage, bra straps faintly visible, a knee length skirt and sheer stockings. I’d flirted outrageously with her, taking any and every opportunity to touch her, to give her that “fuck me” look. Outside the restaurant Vic grabbed my wrist, pulled me in to the alley and pushed me up against the wall.
Checking that we were out of sight, she lifted my skirt, roughly forced her hand between my thighs and because I wasn’t wearing any knickers, easily discovered that my cunt was dripping wet. Vic hesitated, it was palpable. But, she pulled her hand away, pushed hard up against me, and with hot breath stinging my neck, said “just you fucking wait until Friday.”
When she arrived at my flat on Friday night Vic was quite cool, she seemed pre-occupied. We kissed long and hard in the hall yes, but we didn’t fuck there, at first sight, as I hoped we would. After dinner she went purposefully upstairs and I heard her run the bath.
“Your bath’s ready” she shouted downstairs. I could hear her moving around in the bedroom and knew she was up to something.
I was enjoying my soak when Vic came in and knelt down beside the bath. She leant over, kissed me on the forehead, took the soap and working up a lather, said “this is my job”. She started with my arms, then neck and breasts, lingered a while on my hardening nipples, moved to my stomach, dwelt on my cunt & bottom, teasing me gently, and then finished by washing my legs and feet. She wrapped me in a towel, and told me to dry myself and go wait for her on the bed.
From the bedroom I could hear some movement in the lounge and then nothing at all, I knew she was making me wait. After an age, Vic came upstairs and laid down next to me. She pulled my dressing gown away, and stroking my shoulder said quietly “face down”. Flushed, I turned over to lie on my stomach. She reached under the bed and took out 4 lengths of black rope.
On her hands and knees over me, she tied my wrists to the headboard and then moved down to secure my ankles. I tested the rope, “these are too tight baby”, but she ignored me, I hadn’t used our safe word, she said “shut the fuck up”.
My cunt was wet as hell, I could feel the dampness on the sheet under me. I lifted my bottom expecting to be spanked but it didn’t happen. Kneeling over me, with her face next to mine, Vic said slowly, drawing out each word “Are you ready for me?” Her hot mouth remained pressed against my skin, as she moved from my neck, down my spine, smelling me, taking in long, hot breaths. “Are you ready for me?” she whispered against my bottom, “are you ready for me?” she moaned between my legs, so close to my aching cunt and yet not touching me, “are you ready for me?” over and over.
I wanted her to fuck me so badly. The ache that had started in my cunt had spread all over my body and I wanted her in my cunt, my arse, my mouth, everywhere.
Vic, breathing hard and stroking my bottom, again just glancing my cunt, said “I told you you’d fucking get it.” She got up, straightened her shirt and checked the ropes. Standing legs astride, hands on hips she said “right, here’s the deal, payback for your no knickers stunt, this weekend you’re going to get fucked. I’m going to fuck you when and where and how I please. Now, be quiet baby and wait for me.”
It’s 10pm on Saturday night and we’re curled up on my sofa watching something on telly. I’m lying in the crook of your arm, my head on your shoulder, like that’s where I’ve always been.
I’m anticipating the night ahead in bed with you and decide to have a long soak in the bath. This is about relaxing & treating myself, and most importantly, prolonging the moment before we are naked together.
The water is warm & soothing. The bubbles caress my skin. My cunt is already hot as fire. I play with the water, slowly washing it over my arms, breasts, thighs, stomach, cunt.
I’m thinking about how I will have you. My cheeks are flushed. I’m thinking about how I will lie on top of you and, holding one hand at the back of your neck, use the other to trace the treasure of your handsome face, I will kiss you slowly, with meaning & intention. And all the time I will be overwhelmingly aware of your body under mine, how your breasts feel against mine, how your cunt feels against my thigh, the beat of your heart and your hot breath.
Out of the bath, I dry myself slowly and then moisturise. Thoroughly. I want to be as smooth as smooth can be and I’m enjoying the feel of me. But all the while I’m thinking about how I will touch you. My mind starts to race at how I will kiss your neck, trace my fingers across your breasts and firmly take your nipples.
What shall I wear for you? Just knickers I think, and choose, carefully choose, a sheer & sparkly, navy blue pair. I look at myself in the full length mirror – I like how my bottom looks in these.
In bed, I can hear you switching off the lights and checking that the front door is locked. I’m thinking about my plans for you and I’m dripping wet.
You come upstairs, strip and get in to bed. Immediately, you are leaning over me, there’s a moments hesitation before you take my wrists and plant them firmly above my head. You kiss me tenderly but I know that you are holding back, controlling yourself. I try to free myself, to move on top of you, but you won’t allow it. I know that my plans for you will have to wait.
You’re lying on top of me, kissing me. You tell me that I’m beautiful, I feel your breath on my neck, hard and hot. You tell me to be quiet, that I must do exactly as I’m told, that you’re going to fuck me.
My breath quickens and I’m aching for you to feel how wet I am. I can almost hear you say “not yet.” Your thigh moves to part my thighs and you tell me to open my legs. I will not, I resist you.
With one hand still holding my wrists, and looking right in to my eyes you move down to kiss my breasts and wanting nipples.
With one sweep of your knee, you spread my legs just enough to get your rock hard thigh against my cunt, you move against me and I move with you.
Your hand glides firmly down, over my stomach to push at the inside of my thigh, opening me to you. At this moment we both feel the power that is between us and you tell me again, this time in a raised voice, “open your legs”. This I do at once. You pull my knickers down and off one leg. They are wet and hanging at my thigh.
My cunt rises up to meet your hand. You moan and slide your fingers in to me. You’re up on your knees, straddling my thigh. I know how wet you are and I move to feel you but you stop me. You say “don’t touch me”.
You fuck me in slow, easy motions, looking at me. In time, you take the vibe from under the pillow and place it expertly on my clit and tell me to be quiet, that you’re going to fuck me harder. And you fuck me harder. I ride you, draw you in to me. You tell me that I’m a whore and I know I’m a whore for you. You tell me that you’re deep inside me, that you can feel all of me, that you love my cunt, that you love fucking me and that I’m yours. And I say fuck me baby, I say you fuck me so good and all the while you are looking in to my eyes and I am transfixed by you, I reach for you and scream, and buck, and come.
Carefully, you leave my cunt, discard the vibe and lie almost on top of me, hold me and kiss me and tell me that I’m beautiful and that you love me.
All I am is the sum of my flesh and blood. Where are my bones? Physically, my presence in the world is notional. All I’m aware of, all I know, is your arms around me and how much I am loved.
