A (financial) health warning

A recent post by the gorgeous Essin Em and reading about many other bloggers struggling to pay their bills has prompted me to share something about my own financial situation. (Am I over-sharing lately?!)

I’ve worked all of my adult life and always paid my bills. I’m self employed, I rent my home and I’m in a LOT of debt.

My finances went in to a complete ditch nearly two years ago when I ended a long term relationship and struggled to work through the emotional trauma that ensued. For the last year, there’s been a down turn in my area of business, so the ditch has got deeper.

I’ve done everything I can to sort out my finances and left with no choice, I recently contacted all of my creditors to explain my situation and arrange repayment terms. I’m still waiting to see how this will pan out, I’ve already had to make a formal complaint to one credit card company whose response was….shit actually, but I won’t bore you with the details.

Until a few months ago I was depressed about my situation and obsessing about all of the bad things that might happen to me. I had tears, sleepless nights, the lot, it was making me quite ill. The depression left me when I got so down that the only way was up.

My position now is that as my creditors can’t send me to prison, inflict a terminal illness on me or anyone else, stop my girlfriend, friends & family from loving me etc etc, unless they’re going to be reasonable, they can fuck right off. They won’t get a penny.

See, this is a pride thing. I've always been proudly financially independent and my pride is kicking in again. I refuse to get dragged down by this, I will not become a quivering mess thereby hurting myself and my relationships.

I might sound angry but I’m not. I’m relieved and amused actually. What’s the worst that can happen? Bankruptcy? So, let me get this right…… if I become bankrupt I won’t be able to drive myself in to the ground trying to run my business, pay the tax man extortionate amounts of money, stay in the rat race? What on earth will I do?!..... Bring it on!

This post comes with a warning to all of the financial institutions I owe money to:

DON’T TEST ME!