A butch nurse made me scream

This last week has been heavily punctuated with various appointments, mostly concerning my health / benefits. Highlights included:

Being told by a benefits official that I was a “genuine” case! Most people apparently “have no intention of working”! That particular appointment ended with the guy telling me that he had financial problems and was considering bankruptcy. What did I think? Would he lose his house? Unbelievable.

Having my blood test on Wednesday. Now, I’m terrified of needles and embarrassingly, blood tests make me scream. Shame on me! Imagine my delight when I was called in for my test by a handsome butch nurse! There was a knowing smile and she said “take a seat darlin”. Of course, true to form, I screamed. I’ve never left that surgery with such a broad grin on my face!

In other news, a very dear friend of mine claims to have disproved Einstein’s E=MC(2) theory. That would probably sound weird enough if he were an eminent physicist but he’s an always stoned furniture dealer. He couldn’t tell me too much about it because apparently apart from needing a huge blackboard and lots of chalk, it wasn’t safe to do it over the phone. Yikes! Careful with that weed friend!

Project Boo’s Belly is underway. In fact she’s due for a weigh in, so I’ll report back on that. Also, I still need to devise the rewards / penalties points system.

I have my family coming over tomorrow to celebrate two birthdays. It’s always fun when my mob get together and I’m really looking forward to it. X will be coming too.

I’ve been following the Femmethology tour and have really enjoyed everyone’s contributions. It’s made me think about my own Femme-inity and I want to write again about that at some point. It’s very daunting though when there’s so much insightful stuff out there. For now I’ll just say that I’ve been really feeling how my femmeness has helped me over these past few difficult months. I’ve also been really feeling how my Boo’s butchness spotlights my femmeness. So, another post, another time.

Finally, I am going cross-eyed with the anticipation of collecting Gertie in 5 weeks and 1 day. The countdown begins! Roll on 30^th May!

With love

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Meet Gertie!

Here is Gertie being held by my Boo yesterday. She is a Border Terrier, nearly 3 weeks old and we pick her up on 30^th May.

I’ve wanted a dog for years but it’s never felt like the right time. Now living here, on the river, with parks and marshes all around it seemed criminal not to have one. Not that I haven’t wrestled with it of course. It’s a huge commitment. That’s my style though. Over think, worry, analyse to death, blah blah blah. But just look at her! Right decision, eh? Isn’t she GORGEOUS?!

With puppy love

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Boo's belly

Spain was…… very restful indeedy. I’m feeling much better because of it but then having FANTASTIC sex, sleeping lots and eating lots will have that effect I suppose! It was just what I needed. It didn’t matter that the weather was mostly horrid. I arrived back on Sunday with a feint tan on my face and hands, more (cheap) tobacco than you can shake a stick at and Project Boo’s Belly.

Now, let’s get one thing straight from the get go. My Boo is stunning. She is perfect. She does not need to lose any weight. But she has charged me to oversee the loss of her belly. It breaks my heart really because I love every inch of her, and that includes her belly. But what the Boo wants, the Boo gets. And, oh does she! Like the other night when...ahem… I digress...

Boo wants to lose 2 stones. I have no idea where that number has come from but anyway, that’s what I’ll be overseeing from here on in.

I’ve given her THE RULES for her first week, every day she must:

1. Have breakfast
2. Drink 3 litres of still water
3. Have 5 portions of fresh fruit / veg
4. Eat no more than one slice of bread per day
5. Eat nothing after 7pm
6. Eat nothing containing more than 5% fat
7. Exercise

I’ll be writing up a proper plan this week which will include a points system for penalties and rewards. YUMMY! Any ideas?

I think I’m going to enjoy this. A LOT!!!

Watch this space.

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Lighten up FFS!

Oh OK then.

I was fed up with the very dark background here so I got the decorators in!

Much better methinks.

Anyway, a few small updates from this little corner of Spain:

1. I've been eating for England since we arrived and the half stone I needed to lose before getting to my ideal weight will be out of sight forever if I carry on at this rate! So, I'll be checking myself from tomorrow. But, oh my gosh! Spanish chocolate!! YUM!!

2. I've been really kicking back and resting. There have even been one or two snoozes on the beach! Me likey :-)

3. My Boo burnt her ankles yesterday! Silly Boo! How did she manage that?!

And, that's about it really. Sum up: chocolate (and other yummy stuff), resting & snoozing, beach and Boo. Nuff said.


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meme (of course!)

More than a little while ago I was tagged by the very gracious Grumpy Granny. So thanks GG! I love tags, so here goes:

Five names you go by
Baby Boo - obviously only used by my Boo *blushing*.
I’m also called FC or favourite client by a very dear friend.

Three things you are wearing right now
Fluffy red sparkly socks, my black comfies and a hair band.

Three things you want very badly at the moment
Good mental health, good physical health and a nice cup of tea.

Two people who will probably fill this out
Hopefully, everyone I’m tagging will fill this out! See below lucky people!

Two things you did last night
Had amazing sex and watched 2 episodes of the Vicar of Dibley (not in that order!)

Two things you ate today
Two very nice yellow plums? Oh, OK then… a delicious chocolate brownie. Well I am on holiday!

Two people you last talked to on the phone
An idiot at my local benefits office. And then Denver, my unofficial benefits adviser.

Two things you are doing tomorrow
Getting some sun and reading a book on the beach.

Two longest car rides
One springs immediately to mind - When I was about 10, traveling with my family and our dog in a packed out transit van to Yorkshire. The van could only do about 40 miles an hour and when we eventually arrived in the early hours of the morning we couldn’t get in to the cottage we had booked until 2pm. By mid morning I thought I was dying but my mum assured me it was trapped wind. How right she was!

Two of your favourite beverages
Easy – tea and water.

I was thinking about who to tag and I decided to throw caution to the wind and challenge my Boo of course, femmeisymgender, Holden, Leo, freedomgirl, Greg, wicked, Dar, Jess and Running away with the Spoon.

You know you want to!

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